8iRWeiXjcKj9kUz5Tebo4_k_FtY Life with Two Special Needs Children: Dynamics

Sunday, March 20, 2011


It always amazes me how the dynamics change when one child is not at home.  We've gone through this many times, three times were hospitalizations for the kids, which were chaotic in and of themselves.  But when Cassidy goes to stay with Mama Sherry, her foster mom before we adopted her, things are calmer.

We love Cassidy to death, we are very thankful to God for choosing us to be her forever parents, but sometimes we all just need a break from each other!  The kids started spring break Friday and it was a difficult day with both Cassidy and Caleb.  Cassidy is a very strong-willed child and has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  She likes to argue about every task that she is given and has some very serious anger issues.

We are starting to wonder if some things that were done by her bio-mom when she was pregnant with Cassidy aren't leading to these anger issues and have expressed those concerns to the therapist. I think eventually they will get to those, but first things first, they need to build the therapist-patient relationship and they are going to be working on some self-calming techniques.

Cassidy is having a difficult time dealing with the fact that her brother has severe needs and doesn't understand why things are different for him than they are for her.  We have recently started taking her to a new therapist and know that things are not going to get better overnight.  

We're trying to help Cassidy to realize that she needs to let us be the parents to both the boys, but she seems to think that it's her responsibility.  That's going to be a long process as well, I believe!!!

In the meantime, we are trying our best.  I'm very grateful that we have been able to maintain a relationship with Mama Sherry, because I know it's important for Cassidy to have that, since she was such an important part of her life, living with her for 22 months.  It's just hard to hear sometimes when Cassidy comes home and we have to punish her that she wishes she didn't live here or that I'm a mean mom! 

I am taking Cassidy to our community mental health agency on Wednesday for an intake to see if she qualifies for community based services.  Due to the budget issues, I'm not hopeful that that will happen, but we'll see.  She was on it before and came off due to her doing well, which she had been.  We're in the process of a med change so we're not sure if that's going to make a difference in her irritability yet.

It's always something at our house!!!

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