I do not think that I have completely gotten over the stress of having to admit Cassidy to the treatment center. I know having all of the appointments that we have had since the beginning of November has not helped either. It seems like I have been on the go constantly running from one appointment to another since the first of November. Those appointments included Caleb's neuropsychological testing over a period of four days, neurologist appointment, psychiatrist appointment, dentist appointment, lab work; Steven had testing at the public school for two days, his IEP meeting, occupational therapy, speech therapy; and had multiple phone calls regarding Cassidy. And I was just plain worn out.
I managed to get the large tree put up, but it took me over a week to get the ornaments put on it. I didn't get the small tree that we keep upstairs on the fireplace put up until the week before Christmas. I never even got the ornaments put on it. (That tree is Tony's Star Trek themed tree. We put all of his Hallmark Star Trek ornaments on it.)
I didn't even wrap one present until Friday night and that was because I had to get Cassidy's presents wrapped because we were going to visit her on Saturday.
I was very nervous about this visit. We were planning on taking her out to lunch, which would be the first time since she was admitted. I was so afraid that she was going to try and run off on us. Thankfully she didn't. We had a fairly good visit until the end when she refused to stop and listen to something that I wanted to tell her. Then things went down hill pretty quickly. We took her back to the cottage, but not before she yelled at me that she hates me. Her therapist was there when we got back to the cottage and she was trying to talk to her, but she was having nothing to do with it. It was interesting that she was trying to get every single staff member to side with her on an issue, but it was making her even madder because they were agreeing with me.
It turns out that I was so out of it, that I filed to wrap four presents for Steven and one present for Caleb. Steven didn't even notice, because we had a very difficult time getting him to open his presents anyways. Since his birthday is in a month I'll just save those items for his birthday. Caleb was thrilled with the items that he got for Christmas that this other item will wait for his birthday as well.
Even though I wasn't always in the Christmas spirit, I am extremely grateful for the true reason for the season, JESUS!
1 comment:
I feel for you and your not in the Christmas Spirit. My kids are always in the most trouble they can muster just before the holidays and it gets worse and worse just before christmas. My Daughter spent many years in a facility and the I hate yous and the running off and blaming us for everything was horrid. I felt more guilty for taking her. But she left us with no other choices. I feel your pain and helplessness. Focus on the ones at home and focus on Cassidy when you go see her. The others need you too. She will be who she is no matter what you do. Just dont blame yourself. I have for many years and finally quit. It is quite a relief.
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