Caleb's Adoption: Meeting His Birthmother and the Match Meeting

Note:  I had written this post back in February around Caleb's birthday, but never published it.  I had started looking for pictures that we had taken on our match meeting trip and lo and behold I couldn't find them.  And then things got very crazy and out of control in our lives.  I talk about that in a different blog that I keep private and only allow individuals to read it with an invitation.  If you would like an invitation to read it,  please send me an e-mail.

I have written about various parts of Caleb's adoption over the last few years, kind of as the mood hits me and haven't ever really sat down and written the entire story down in full.  With everything that we have been through, I have been urged to write a book and one of my goals this year is to start working on it.

If you would like to read Caleb' adoption story in order, you can read it by clicking on the following links:

Caleb's Adoption: The Beginning

Caleb's Adoption:  Meeting Caleb's Birthmother and the Match Meeting

So after getting the initial phone call from Caleb's birthmother saying that we were the family she wanted to raise her son, we scurried to arrange a time to go and meet her and have what the agency called a "match meeting."  A "match meeting" is basically a meeting to discuss what type of contact the birthparents and family is going to have, who is going to name the child, who is going to be there when the child is born, who the child is going to be discharged to from the hospital, and on and on and on.

With Tony working as a contractor for a government agency, he would have a three day weekend, so President's Day Weekend was the perfect weekend to do it.  Our counselor was willing to work the holiday as well to get the match meeting done.  We were able to get a flight out on Friday afternoon where we didn't have to change planes, but did have one stop, but we didn't arrive into Sacramento until like 10 p.m. California time.  

We were able to get to our hotel and get some sleep.  The next morning we got up and headed out to meet Nova, Caleb's birthmother, at the maternity home where she was living at the time.  To say that we were nervous, would have been a HUGE understatement.  My stomach was in knots!!!!!

Nova had all sorts of things that she wanted us to do.  She wanted to take us to the home that she was in when she received our "Dear Birthmother" letter so that the residents there could meet us.  So that, I believe, was our first stop.  We then drove downtown and she showed us where the hospital was where she would go to when she went into labor.

Nova also wanted to go to the State Capitol building and show that to us.  We toured the inside and walked around the grounds.
 

Nova also wanted to show us Old Sacramento, so we spent some time there.  We took her out to lunch, did a lot of driving, a lot of finding her orange juice (she always kept telling us that the "baby is taking all the calcium from my bones!").  By the time it was time to take Nova back to the maternity home Tony and I were exhausted!

Sunday we stayed close to our hotel, since we did so much running around the day before.  We also had a very early day the next day for our meeting.

Spending the time with Nova, Tony and I spent the weekend very much out of our comfort zone. We did a lot of driving in areas of downtown Sacramento that we would not normally go to; walking into a maternity home, with the residents knowing that we were adoptive parents, as most of the residents there were planning on keeping their babies; spending a lot of time with someone who we had just met and were hoping that she would allow us to parent raise her unborn child. 

On Monday we picked Nova up and drove to our agency's office for the match meeting.  The meeting went well, as there really wasn't any surprises.  After the end of the meeting, we took Nova shopping and got her some clothes, took her back to the maternity home and went back to our hotel.  We had to be at the airport early the next morning, as our flight left at 5:30 in the morning to head back to Raleigh.  Fortunately, we were on the opposite route as our flight out, stop in Phoenix but didn't need to change plans and then on to Raleigh.

Caleb's Adoption: The Waiting

{Here's the story from when we received the call!}

On February 28th, I received a call  from Caleb's birthmother's friend saying that she was at the hospital in labor.  I called our counselor and she told us to start getting ready to travel.  I left work and began finishing our packing and changing our plane tickets to fly out the next day.  Later that afternoon, about 4:45, we received the phone call that our son was born.  We were so excited.  I could hardly sleep that night!  The next day we began the long flight to California.  I called the hospital and talked to our son's birthmom before we got on the plane.  She told us that the nurses said it would be okay for us to come to the hospital as soon as we got into town, even though it would not be until about 10 p.m. that we would even land at the airport. 

We did go straight to the hospital and this is the first time I was able to see our son, Caleb Alexander:

This is an absolutely horrible picture of me, seeing it was actually 1 a.m. North Carolina time and I'd spent seven hours on an airplane!
 
Caleb spent five days in the hospital and then was discharged to us.  His birthmother was resolved in her decision and signed all the necessary papers when she was asked to.  We even had to do it a second time due to the fact that there was some mental health questions and we found out that she needed to have a psychological exam performed before actually signing the papers.  So we had to hurry and get all of that accomplished.

We were told that it could take weeks to get the necessary ICPC paperwork approved, which meant we had to stay in California until that happened.  It so happened, that because our home study would have expired while we were in California and would need to get it updated as soon as possible, we were actually able to receive a conditional approval and leave California to go home to North Carolina within a week of Caleb being discharged from the hospital.

It was wonderful to be able to go home with our little boy!

So that is some of the major points of Caleb's adoption story!!!! There are other stories that are intertwined with this that I may share at other times of individuals who helped us during this very exciting, but stressful time in our lives.  God blessed us with some wonderful friends who blessed us in ways that we could never have imagined.

New Post on Private Blog

I have posted a long overdue update on my private blog (http://cassandrasprivatethoughts.blogspot.com/) for anyone who wants to read about what's been going on.  If you have not already received an invite, please send me and e-mail (cassandra{dot}sines@gmail{dot}com).

Book Review: "You're Going to Be Okay," by Holley Gerth

Another book that caught my eye when I was looking through the books available in February to review was "You're Going to be Okay," by Holley Gerth.  You see, there has been a lot of tough stuff going on in our family which has caused my depression to kick into overdrive.  Even though I am currently on two different medications for that, there are still days that I wonder if I will make it through. 

Raising multiple special needs children is tough.  In fact, today was really emotionally draining for me.  While Caleb is almost chronologically 12, cognitively he is only 3.  I tell him the same thing every morning about NOT putting his socks and shoes on at the kitchen table and yet he doesn't seem to comprehend.  Then after church at a leadership luncheon that Tony and I had he had to go to the bathroom, so I took him.  i had to prompt him each step of the way.  It's those types things that emotionally drain me. 

And then to add in everything that is going on with Cassidy right now, it just really throws me over the edge.  So there really are days when I do not know if I am going to be okay!  So I jumped at the chance to read this book.

As I was reading the book the other day, Tony asked me, "So, are you going to be okay?"  And I was like, "Huh?"  I was so engrossed into the book that it took me a minute to realize what he was talking about!!!

Unfortunately, I only made it through half of the book before I had to start to write this review to meet the deadline.  But what I have read I have really liked.  Ms. Gerth writes in a way that is personable and like you are sitting across the table having a cup of hot chocolate.  As you are going through the chapters there are thought provoking questions to work through. 

I can't wait to finish working through the book so that I can find the joy, resilience and strength no matter what life brings -- and life surely brings a lot!!!!!

Book Review: "Shadows of the Past" by Patricia Bradley

As part of of the Revell Blog tour, I love being able to read books by authors that I have never read before.  In January I received an e-mail of available books and saw "Shadows of the Past," by Patricia Bradley.  After reading the description, I knew that I wanted to read this book.

I received the book right before Tony, Caleb and I came down with the horrible crud.  I started reading the book while recovering from that crud and I couldn't put it down!  I finished the book in two days!!!

Here's the description of the book: 

Psychology professor and criminal profiler Taylor Martin prides herself on being able to solve any crime, except the one she wants most desperately to solve--the disappearance of her father twenty years ago. When she finally has a lead on his whereabouts, Taylor returns home to Logan Point, Mississippi, to investigate. But as she is stalking the truth about the past, someone is stalking her.

Nick Sinclair pens mystery novels for a living, but the biggest mystery to him is how he can ever get over the death of his wife--a tragedy he believes he could have prevented. With his estranged brother the only family he has left, Nick sets out to find him. But when he crosses paths with Taylor, all he seems to find is trouble.

Join the chase as this determined duo search the murky shadows of the past for the keys to unlocking the present and moving into a future filled with new hope and love. Readers will be swept into the sultry South in this debut novel from a promising and already award-winning writer.

I was drawn into the book in the very first chapter.  Ms. Bradley did a great job of keeping the story moving in such a way that you were always guessing as to who the actual "bad guys" were until the very end, which I like in a suspense novel.

Ms. Bradley's writing reminded me a lot of Sandra Orchard and Lynette Eason, so if you like their books

Book Review: "The Calling" by Suzanne Woods Fisher

I had received another book review offer from Revell Books that I accepted because the book sounded interesting.  I also enjoy reading new authors.  First, I would like to apologize to Ms. Fisher and Revell Books for being late in posting this review.  Between my depression and then myself and two other members of my family catching the nasty crud, today is the first day that I have actually felt human enough to sit up and type at the computer.

"The Calling" is the second book in The Inn at Eagle Hill series by Suzanne Woods Fisher.  It took me a few chapters to actually figure out who the characters were, but I think that if I had read the first book in the series, I do not think that would have been an issue.

The main setting of the story is an Amish community.  It surrounds a family who is running a bread and breakfast, a guest who is staying at the bread and breakfast, the two individuals who live next door to the home next to the bread and breakfast, a group of five older sisters, as well as the "quilting bee," and a group home of troubled girls.

One of the sisters at the bed and breakfast's mom had left when she was younger and she always wondered why.  Her brother had left town a couple of years earlier, who happened to return home.  He tried to deter his sister from looking into why her mother left, but she couldn't let it go.  She pursues it and learns about mental illness.

This was a very good book.  It was a very quick read, as well.  When I was able to sit down and read it, I read a good chunk of it in a day.  I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who likes Amish fiction.  I will probably even go back and get the first one in the series so that I can understand a little bit more about the story.

On Ms. Fisher's website, I saw that she has a Discussion Guide for the book.  You can also find out more about her other books.

I received a copy of "The Calling" to post an honest review.  All thoughts are my own and in no way have been influenced.

You can purchase "The Calling" at your local bookstore or at an online retailer.

Book Review: "Everyday Confetti" by Karen Ehman and Glynnis Whitwer

As I was looking through the e-mails in December for the January blog tours, I saw that the book, "Everyday Confetti," was available for review.  It looked very interesting to me and I wanted to look at it closer.  So I requested a copy.

I started reading through the book and was very glad that I had received a copy.  I think this is going to be something I refer to quite a bit!

This is the description on the back of the book:  "Everyday Confettiis your go-to guide to making holidays, birthdays, special events, and even the every day special.  Inside you'll find more than two hundred ways to make memories with your family, including easy recipes, fun and activities, and inexpensive decorating ideas -- all simple, doable, and stress free." 

 And wait -- before you go and say "I'm not a decorator.  I'm not crafty."  From what I read these are all very simple and even me (who is not very crafty!) can do them!!!

The first part of the book is about everyday celebrations.  There are chapters about celebrating every day joys, celebrating birthdays, spiritual milestones, ways to stay connected, and reaching out to others in hard times.

One thing I learned by this book is that there is a Name Day and you can find out when your Name Day is or the Name Day for your family members are and there are suggestions of things to do for your family members on their Name Day.  If you are interested in learning when your Name Day is you can look here.

The second section of the book discusses each holiday (and not just the major holidays) throughout the year and provides suggestions of things to do and sometimes recipes to use for those holidays.

One suggestion that I really liked under the springtime celebrations is making pretzels.  They mention that pretzels look like praying hands, so while the pretzels are baking, as a family decide on an individual who you would like to pray for.  After the pretzels are done, pray for the individual, eat some of the pretzels, wrap up the remaining pretzels and deliver them to the individual and tell them that you are praying for them.  And depending on the amount of pretzels that you have, you might be able to share with more than one person.


There are so many out-of-the-box ideas that I just love! 

There is a Facebook page for "Everyday Confetti," which can be found here.

Also, there is a website for "Everyday Confetti," which can be found here.

And here is the link for their Pinterest boards.

You can purchase "Everyday Confetti" at  your local bookstore or any online retailer.

I received a copy of this book from Revell Books in exchange for my truthful review.  All thoughts are my own and have not been influenced in any way.

Book Review: "No One to Trust" by Lynette Eason

The beginning of December, I received an e-mail from Revell Books about their January Blog Tour and was very happy to see that Lynette Eason's "No One to Trust" was part of this blog tour.  I had been anxiously awaiting this book to be released ever since I finished her Deadly Reunion series last year.

When I received my book, I began reading it almost immediately and certainly was not disappointed.  From the prologue, I was hooked.  As I kept reading through Chapters one and two when I was learning about the two main characters, David Abernathy and Summer Abernathy, my heart went out to Summer Abernathy for what she was going through.

Ms. Eason does a wonderful job describing each scene that makes you feel like you are actually in the situation with the characters.  There were many nights where I started reading and would literally be falling asleep and have to force myself to put it down.  However, the night I finished it, I was so caught up in what was happening and wanted to see how it ended, that I couldn't sleep and kept reading until I finished!

In the story, Ms. Eason references a song entitled, "Wake," that helps Summer Abernathy, who happens to be a lawyer, and one of her clients.  Ms. Eason's husband and his band actually recorded the song and it is on her website for download.  You can listen to clip of the song here.  If you do purchase the song, all of the funds raised go to http://www.cupsofcoldwater.com/.

I highly recommend you read "No One to Trust."  I do not think you will be disappointed!  You will be able to pick up a copy at your local bookstore or any online retailer.

I was provided a copy of "No One to Trust" by Revell Books in exchange for my honest review.  My thoughts are my own and in no way have been influenced by anyone.